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Love ❤️ is more than…

25 Aug

So I had taken a break from posting. I felt like I didn’t have much to say for I had said a lot. Well at least I thought however I came to the conclusion that I need to say more.

So instead of just posting about relationship stuff, I’m going to post more about love ❤️. Yes the things we do for love. The reaction of love. The meaning of love. The feeling of love.

Love is life. Love is what makes you transform and grow in life. On the other hand, lack of love can make a person go crazy, a lack of love can make a person react in negative ways. A lack of love can make you wanna holler and throw up your hands, as brother Marvin said rip. Yes he even gave up and got out cause he never got that love from the man he tried to please. I’m not talking about God but his father. Hate is real. Hate took him out. The caused reaction by his actions.

Love is real. The real test is how you manage that in your life. Many don’t have it or know how to utilize it in their lives.

Look at our current leader. He’s a larger reflection of how it looks when you don’t have love in your life. He was raised in an environment where he probably wasn’t told that he was special and loved. So other things took the place of that like ego, money, social status and envy.

It’s important for parents to tell their children how much they love them. It’s important for these children to grow up and learn how to love others unconditionally. It’s important to know how to love yourself when you’re not being honored by others for the highest good.

For now on I will post more love content. Every song has a reference to love, everybody is seeking love in some way. Love is universal.

Today I chose to love ❤️ even when I feel at times it’s a lost cause. Always believe in yourself. Always believe in love. Hang in there.

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Dating 2016

17 Oct

Welcome to the Twilight Zone! The year is 2016. While the world has advanced, lifestyle has taken a backwards turn in dating. A message to the ladies (my sisters in particular) run like Forrest if you are told this nonsense.

Drops 🎤

-Picture and post courtesy of Keep Elevating Yourself with Bitchy Only –

The Switch-Up! Beware…

10 Oct

The CellI have a dear friend who is still recovering from her recent break-up. It happened out of the blue for her. Constantly going over the mishap being the Inspector Gadget personality type. At times I want to tell her to cheer up but honestly, I can understand what she’s going through.

I see the different emotions she is going through. One day she’s hopeful, other times she’s depressed. At times she wants to move on. Other times she wants to contact her ex. It’s common to feel that way. For her it was unexpected, he just stopped calling her.

While you can’t avoid jerks 100% (even if you’re psychic lol), there are some signs that can help you in the long run from potential disaster.

  1. Do your homework– While dating asks a lot of questions. Why? Because clarity will come to you about your situation. There are no stupid questions, listen I made a mistake once of believing a guy I was dating was over his ex. While he told me he was over her and ready for a fresh start, he wasn’t. I didn’t ask the important questions like how long were they separated. Or a really good question that would have reveal everything… If she wanted you back would you go back? Darn it! Because I didn’t get clarity, I played myself. Womp, womp… Yes I did… I’m not ashamed to admit that. But hopefully, my experience will help someone else who may be dealing with something similar in their life.
  2. Pay attention to the signs– If he/she starts one way with you then all of sudden do something different. Usually, that means that he/she is no longer interested in you and have either moved on with someone else or change their mind altogether. If this happens don’t bother with getting closure. They won’t tell you the truth anyway and you’re wasting time with finality.
  3. KIM-Keep It Moving- It’s ok if you get knocked down and your feelings are hurt. Eventually, you will recover. With that being said you have to rebound and go forward. Don’t allow the situation to keep you defeated. Make sure you do not allow it to taint your potential and future opportunities as well. Trust in time things will work out to your advantage. Think of it like this, you can’t lose and winning will be in your cards soon enough. Prepare to celebrate the win, cause one who encountered many defeats will soon become a winner by expertise.

Interesting Facts!

8 Sep

I was going to write and article in a few regarding this. I guess its confirmation that I speak out about it rather than not. Thanks to my SiStar Zanetta Tribble El for your knowledge. 

One thing that is certain in life is the end of one cycle and the beginning of another. The universe will give you many signs and symbols that cue you it’s time to move on to the next stage. When you don’t listen or take heed and stay in relationships or situations that no longer serve you for your greater good, the universe has a way of knocking you on your ass so you have no choice but to look at it for what it truly is and not what you want or hope it will be. And hopefully you listen then and can walk away with the lesson…


More to come… Stay tuned…

The Light… 

7 Sep

You didn’t appreciate my light. It may have been a little too bright. So I disconnected and unplugged.

By doing so I saved my wattage, cause my bulb can’t be replace.

-Roz Roberts  written 08/16

Continue to be in your own special place. There are many beings out there that will not be appreciated and adorned in the way that life had intended it to be. While disappointing don’t commit to an era of defeat. Stay true to your form. Don’t second guess yourself. Many may tell you what you did wrong or what you could have done correctly. However you know yourself, honor it! Appreciate your wattage but know that some may not be able to handle it. Continue to shine your light brightly til some other special being gets you and only you will understand why all this occurred in the first place. 

No matter how it looks success is inevitable, claim it! 


I’m Back!

3 Aug

UPDATE: Well Blab unexpectedly shut down. So you can catch me on YouNow under the same name and twitter handle.

Hi, I wanted to make an announcement that I will be on Blab hosting discussions on various topics including dating and so forth. Catch me at my twitter handle heyroz or Roz Roberts. See you soon!

 

Be True!

30 May

Often we make the sacrifice in our lives to please others but we miss out on the opportunity to please ourselves. There has to be balance to do both otherwise you will end up in a depress state of mind. Until we get the lesson in life we’ll continue to bring situations, obstacles and people into our lives that will either have us repeating the mistake or fixing it.

That’s why when you’re in a relationship it’s very important to be your true self. Otherwise it won’t work. No matter how much you tried to finagle it.

We need to agree

We need to agree (Photo credit: Ken Whytock)

Recognize Your Moment

12 Apr

Gift icon

When it’s your time are you ready? I had a wonderful opportunity to work in a creative industry with an opportunity to grown within a mainstream company. At the time I envision how my life would be and where it would go if partake in this career field.

While waiting for the phone call. I decided to focus my interest elsewhere to take up my time. Months passed and I finally got the call. But guess what, I didn’t follow through like I was supposed to. Why?  Because I was too busy dealing with the fear of my ego. Yes my ego was telling me that I wasn’t “experienced” enough to embark in this field. That competition would become rampant and my life would be full of constant awkward moments of trying to blend and adept in a crowd that I wasn’t familiar with.

So the opportunity  fell through. As I realized it was what I really wanted, I reached out and tried to gain my reëntry in the door. It didn’t happen. After multiple emails and calls the interest from the other party wasn’t there anymore. They picked someone else to feel the void. Now the same thing that was occupying my time turn out to be a pain in the arse, while I’m constantly having some king of regret on missing out on my opportunity. Plus I’m stuck in a dead-end job with no room for growth or advancement. Plus I surrounded by many chiefs and very few indians. I have too many people telling me what to do etc… You get my drift. Let me stop right here and get back to the point. Are you ready?

When it comes to love. Many times we want an opportunity to date or find a mate who will supply us with our needs and wants. It’s only natural to have that wish. However we mess up when the opportunity arrives and we intentionally let it pass us by. Either through fear, doubt or unnecessary expectations that delays our time in getting to the outcome of a successful relationship.

I seen it many times through my friends and peers. They want a guy to ask them out. The guy does and they find fault in the first date or the moment without allowing flexibility in their perceptions. Now I’m not talking about settling, no way! I’m talking about how we pray and wish upon a star for the blessing and then think we don’t deserve it when it arrives.

THE SOLUTION: Why not step out on faith and give opportunity a try? What I should have done was accept the offer and deal with the obstacles from there. Who knows, I may not have any and it could have been all in my head. But to give up without trying is a perfect recipe for failure. Failure in all things including love.

If you met a wonderful person and not sure if you should take a chance. Trust your hunch. If you prayed on it, more likely it’s for you. Life doesn’t always give us warnings. But it can give you a glimpse of the blessings to come. When it happens will you be ready to take it or will you let it pass by?

My suggestion carry on and deal with it fearlessly.

Cognitive Dissonance In Love

18 Jan

Cognitive dissonance is a discomfort caused by holding conflicting cognitions(e.g., ideasbeliefsvaluesemotional reactions) simultaneously.

Cognitive DissonanceHow many times have I vent or complain about my job? Too many to count. I always make a plan to do something different and I end up doing something remotely different that doesn’t change the scenario.  I have suffered from Cognitive Dissonance. When it comes to love, many of us suffer the same.

Daniel knew his relationship with Hallie would not last. However he decided to fall back from the scene and allow Hallie to carry on with her antics. Daniel knew her antics was causing a wedge between them but he wanted to prove the relationship as being what it was and that he didn’t care if it went one way or another. Later it went down the toilet with the tidy bowl man.

Pam knew her fiancée lied to her on many occasions which severed the trust factor in their relationship. While she became adamantly vocal about her independence and wanting a clean slate. She continued to allowed the ex fiancée to stay in the same house with her as he went on with his usual routine.

What do they have in common? A case of cognitive dissonance in which I will call it CD.  Many times we become displeased with the way things are going especially in our love life. Sometimes we become disillusion with negativity. Other times we have met many challenges which gives us a bad perception of love in general. While it’s ok to have feelings to accept them as your feelings and to deal with them whether it’s through counseling, life skill management, etc. It’s another thing to expect change and not practice a new outlook for those results. Especially if you’re seeking to do that.

The Belief Disconfirmation Paradigm

Dissonance is aroused when people are confronted with information that is inconsistent with their beliefs. If the dissonance is not reduced by changing one’s belief, the dissonance can result in misperception or rejection or refutation of the information, seeking support from others who share the beliefs, and attempting to persuade others to restore consonance.

How many times have you heard your friend declaring they’re ready for a change? They’re going to stop dating a certain type of guy? Move on with their life in a different direction? However their patterns haven’t changed and they’re not allowing you to call them out on it. Instead they want you to co-sign on why it’s the way they want you to see it.  They haven’t shift their paradigm.

Shifting the paradigm takes works. If you’re not ready to do so, then don’t cause attention to the cause that you’re standing against. If you want to continue the pattern but afraid of what society or others will say to you. Live your paradigm with pride. Don’t justify why you want it another way so you’ll be in appeasement to your confusion.

My question for you is what are you going to do today or tomorrow (the procrastinator) in changing your pattern? I’ll let you know mines tomorrow. Joking!

 

Don’t Be Boo Boo The Fool…

9 Jan
Image-wedding and engagement ring 200

I do! Do you?

 I spent another weekend night catching up on some reality tv shows. While watching one show,  I was unexpectedly surprised by the outcome of this episode. On this episode the producers reveled into this famous hip-hop couple’s relationship. They have been together for over 7 years which is common law in most states. The girlfriend is complaining that her boyfriend hasn’t propose to her. Through all the lady gatherings, brunches and mommy dearest heart to hearts, her boyfriend finally proposed. A happy ending to this story right? Nope I don’t think so. Anything force will not serve the purpose to lasting happiness. Let me explain as it’s time for a reality check and a real synopsis of this situation called “engagement”.

We all know once a woman hits 30 she is in desperate attempt to have  marriage and a family option in her life. It doesn’t matter what race, ethnicity, or background she comes from, women in society are expected to meet this goal by 30. Yes talk about PRESSURE!!! And if the woman doesn’t want that in her life at the moment she is consistently told how she should pursue that goal called “marriage” because father time isn’t on her side.

No wonder there are so many dysfunctional relationships out there. We rush the process and don’t have a sense of purpose in developing a lasting partnership.

THE PROBLEM: Let’s call her Lisa. Lisa is pushing 40. No children and no ring options. She has an image to keep up and thinks her boyfriend is playing around. Her boyfriend, lets call him John has adapt to the partnership lifestyle but doesn’t feel the need to make a legal commitment. I’m sure he loves her but his freedom to self is more important than walking down the aisle and saying I do.

With her constant crying, pressure, withholding and temper tantrums. She was able to twist his arms with a ring. And what made her look silly on the show was that she had to ask him to put the ring on her finger. He did a lot of stuff half -ass. Yes I said it! He didn’t even feel compel to place the ring on her finger. He’s probably thinking let me do this so can stay in good graces with her and not mess up my comfort factor.

WHAT HAPPEN: Lisa didn’t allow him to be a man or take charge with the idea of getting married. He showed her that he was push and shoved into her decision-making which is not a good look. Some people prefer their mates to take charge and be the aggressor in the relationship. Lisa is the aggressor to her man who is an aggressor in everything else but his feelings of conviction. More than likely the scenario will play out with him getting fed up and leaving her to mend her wounds.  Or he may reluctantly stay in a relationship to save face and his pockets.

It’s ok to want a commitment if that’s what you wish. But the key ingredients to a successful relationship is total commitment from both parties. Both parties have to agree upon their desires and what they want out of the relationship. If marriage is the goal great! If one isn’t ready or want that in their life it’s not going to work. Plain and simple.

Why waste your time with someone who isn’t ready or wants to be with you? For most relationships 4 to 5 years is enough time to figure out if your partner is in it for the long run. If you’re not sure ask. If you still don’t see adequate results or a guided direction with the relationship, then its time to put on your dancing shoes and step out of his or her’s life. Obviously you’re not that important to them. If you were, it would have happen when it supposed to happen. It goes both ways for men and women who are looking for a commitment.

When you find the right partner, the fear and lack of freedom will not be an issue because you all will be on the same page. Don’t get discouraged keep hope alive and stay encouraged. A delay is not a denial.

“Each new day is a blank page in the diary of your life. The secret of success is in turning that diary into the best story you possibly can.” – Douglas Pagels