Archive | August, 2016
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The Comeback

18 Aug

spotlights

Why many artists don’t do a comeback. 

In writing this title I wanted to be very clear in my direct meaning of what I am going to explain. Many fans clamor in anticipation to hear their favorite artists redo or review their favorite songs, often times they’re not prepared for what goes on behind closed doors. It takes a lot of preparation and stamina to go back on stage. Combined the pressures of reality along with the artist’s own insecurities, most of them decline to participate in a comeback. While a few artists do well, some of them may receive more accolades than before. Many feel rusty in whatever category and the negativity may often manifest into shock and talk amongst fans.

This can also be the same aspect when it comes to dating. After being on hiatus how can one successfully come back in a winning way? It takes work of a productive strategy that can allow room for growth and development.

Take Jane for example. Jane was in an abusive relationship that ended over four years ago. During the break, she worked on herself by healing and decided it was time to jump back in the dating pool. Jane approached the dating aspect in a positive way and begin meeting people. She met one guy that over time took a serious liking to. This guy also like Jane however, he was not thoroughly clear on what he wanted in a relationship which caused some confusion on her part.  He strung her along and stop returning her calls. No more dates. Jane feeling perplexed about the whole thing thought that maybe she didn’t have all the right traits for dating and decided to retreat back into herself.  She did not seek or participate in any sociable activities that involved the opposite sex,  it felt awkward for her to do so.

Jane was like the artist who struggled for a failed comeback attempt. They both became complacent with the past belief that nothing gets better even if you try hard enough to make it possible.

What made them different from the successful artist that did do well was having the resilience and ability to adaptation. You can’t have one component without the other. Jane met a string of guys which gave validation to her fears that dating is a waste of time. But she let that defined her story and settle out of the game. Jane could have been better prepared for her heart and time by being upfront and asking them what they wanted in the first place. Had they said something that didn’t resonate with her then it was in Jane’s power to create something different. By saying thanks but no thanks to them, the strategy of success would have been what she wanted to see. Or like the artist that decided to get help by utilizing a coordinator and vocal coach. Their grand debut would have been more of a celebrated win.

When we make preparations for planning, make sure the goals matches the actions. Sometimes you can be on the path following the plan accordingly and may still be misdirected or having to forego what was initiated. That’s ok, don’t run instead retreat briefly and make a new plan.

Chances are the more you work through the problem, the solution appears and eventually it will all work out for your greater good. Don’t hide away steal the spotlight and embrace the change!

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I Ain’t Got No Type…

6 Aug

All I do is swipe, swipe, swipe… SwipeReally? Let’s talk. Social media has taken over many aspects of our lives. 90% of our time involve some form of social media, whether we are checking the latest news or who’s who amongst the whom… Yes, I said it in that manner. Social media have also infiltrate the delicate world of dating. 

Like reality shows, dating has become the venue of competition. If you’re new to the dating scene you might feel like a bench warmer during the off-season game. However even the contenders have some form of social anxiety and difficulties when utilizing this platform of dating and developing a relationship.

Before you try out for the Olympics, there are some tips to consider as you embark on this journey. Run!!!!! Haha at times running is your best option. So many ads, not enough potential. This may have you running to your therapist on a weekly basis.

Now this post is for the hopefuls. This post is not for those who think they have it together or knowledge of why you don’t need to be dating, etc, etc. These rule makers are killjoy in the making.

Are you still here? Great you didn’t run far, so I will tell you my perspective on how to maintain sanity and balance while dating in the millennium.

  1. Know what you want, then prepare for revision… You should always know what your wants and desires are. Once you find potential dating profiles realize that your list will be revised for many are exaggerated and pump up to gain the advantage and attention of the potential interest. Let’s vision Catfish on Crack! They may have fluff up something about themselves which is usually their employment, weight, height, location, age, and interests. If you can settle with the acceptance that potential is really 5’3 versus 5’8, then hold on and see how it progresses going forward. If something else comes up like another lie or exaggeration then it is sign of a red flag and you should run for it.
  2. Make sure you get clarity… See one potential profile may tell you that they are looking to have a serious relationship. But once they meet you, the interest may only be fleeting for the moment. Only wanting a sexual relationship. Know what you want. Do not get discourage if that potential is no longer harboring the promising trait they once had. This a sign to disconnect and move on. You will be glad that you did and not waste anymore of your valuable time.
  3. Once clarification is clear, keep a positive mindset about the process… It takes time to form a relationship that is of worth and value. If you encounter any disappointments, whereby it seem promising but went bust. Do not allow that to discourage you. Anything of quality takes time and that non potential did you a favor by existing out of your life. You want success and that takes work. Once you master dating in a Social Media Era, know in time you will achieve your goal.

I’m Back!

3 Aug

UPDATE: Well Blab unexpectedly shut down. So you can catch me on YouNow under the same name and twitter handle.

Hi, I wanted to make an announcement that I will be on Blab hosting discussions on various topics including dating and so forth. Catch me at my twitter handle heyroz or Roz Roberts. See you soon!