The Text Option

20 Jan
The Cell

Who's Checking You Boo? Not The Person You Want Too!

I was prompt to write this post today because I had multiple conversations with friends about men and texting.
There has been a common theme since cell phones exist that the dating men chooses the option to text than call.
From personal experience, I been told that it’s an easier option to multitask while texting. Hmm let’s get into a deeper subject of this topic.

The True Hollywood story behind this is that texting allow men to not have personal or intimate contact with a woman they are not 100% interested in.

Let me explain, men are told to have woman options. Women on the other hand are told to work one male option at a time. Usually the male that we are in touch with is the one we really want as our lover or companion. Men on the other hand explore their options by dating multiple women. The winner of the man’s attention and time is the woman who appears flawless in their vision.

Ladies don’t despair! There is hope. I see couples all the time who are 100% in love and committed to each other. I’m speaking to the other population who seems to have trouble finding or keeping a significant other. Many times it’s our fault that men do what they do. This is a perfect example of the analogy I written.

My friend L was in a causal relationship with this guy she really like. They went out many times and had a sexual relationship. All of a sudden dude breaks up with her out of the blue, when L questioned him about their status. L was confused and very hurt. She saw him at times while at school. But he keep the conversation short. L decided to get herself together and focus on her studies. After many conversations with her, it was clear that she was moving on without him.

After a few months dude decided to contact her. He did this by texting. L was at first perplex by the simple text that said hello. Within moments of the first text she got really excited. Her feelings of neglect and abandonment vanished. She waited a few hours and text him back. Dude returned her text. This would go on for a few days. Once L built her trust for a possible reconnection, dude vanish.

This cycle of carelessness put L in another tailspin of displace feelings and confusion. By now she’s thinking that men isn’t interested in her and they play games.

WHAT HAPPENED: What L didn’t realize is that dude’s behavior has nothing to do with her. Dude was keeping his option open for when his first choice didn’t work out. The other scenarios could be that his main woman was away and maybe he wanted a quick hook-up. L was consider an easy option because he already put work into her. Easy retrieval of what’s familiar vs going to find another woman for the moment. Other factors of why they didn’t hook up may have been that his main lady interest was returning to his space. Leaving dude with no time to plan a reunion. Another option could have been that he wanted to see if L would accept him effortlessly without hassle or hang-ups.

YOUR ROLE: Now opinions of how this can work out varies. For L the best thing she could have done was to ignore his text. She could have deleted the text as well or block his number. Personally I think L wasn’t ready for that. Deep down inside a part of her had hope that it can work out again. Honestly it couldn’t. First of all they weren’t in a serious committed relationship. Second he did not show an interest in being with her on an exclusive level. To make matters worse, dude probably realized that L was too eager to get back with him. That made him feel less about her, self-esteem wise and put him in a search for a woman who will not tolerate his antics.

Ladies if you are experiencing this now. The best thing you can do is to deal with the situation head on. This is accomplished by letting him know that you’re over it and no longer interested. You can either do this by texting or calling him and setting the record straight.

I wish you all success and strength.


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